Being a family caregiver can be described as many things, but one thing you won’t hear it called is “easy”. Even with all of the right tools and a solid plan, caregiving can sometimes feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Now that we are nine months into a pandemic, navigating how to care for a loved one is even more difficult.
As a caregiver, it can be hard to ask for help, but by doing so both you and your loved ones benefit. If you’re not sure where to start when asking for help with an aging loved one, we’ve put together some tips you can use.
Here are some ways you can lean on others through the caregiving experience and, hopefully, lighten your list of responsibilities.
When to ask for help
While the answer is different for everyone, there are certain times when it is necessary to enlist the help of others while caregiving for a senior. Look for these signs to know when it’s time to ask for help.
Lean on others before you are feeling overly stressed. If you are experiencing any of the following, it might be time to ask for back up:
- Depression
- Withdrawal
- Insomnia
- Trouble concentrating
- Anger
- Health issues
- Exhaustion
- Anxiety
- Drinking or smoking
- Altered Eating habits
Not reaching out when you are experiencing these symptoms can lead to caregiver burnout, which causes physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. Some caregivers even suffer from a change in attitude and become confrontational and resentful.
It’s up to you to decide when you are ready to ask for help. If your caregiving responsibilities are affecting other aspects of your life, such as relationships or work, consider reaching out for help. When caregiving duties are divided out among family members, friends, and professionals, everyone involved can live a more balanced life.
Who to ask for help
Help caregiving for a loved one can come from many different places. By starting the conversation, you are more likely to grow your circle of caregivers.
Friends and family
Friends and family are great people to rely on because you already know and trust them. More often than not, they are willing to offer some respite.
Dividing caregiving responsibilities up into smaller tasks could be better than solely relying on one person (you). For example, you might have your spouse take your senior loved one to a doctor’s appointment, your brother help write checks out for monthly bills, and your child mow the lawn.
Take a look at the people in your life and think of the best way they could help. Small tasks add up to the big picture, and spreading them out among your friends and family can take some of the burdens off your shoulders.
Neighbors
Neighbors can be a watchful eye on your loved one while you are not around. Get to know the people who live near the senior you care for. They may already know your loved one and be happy to help.
To avoid making the trip over to your loved one’s home for quick, small tasks, you could call a neighbor to help. For example, if the senior you care for receives a package and is unable to retrieve it, a neighbor could stop over and put it in the garage or house for them.
Knowing that you have neighbors looking out for a loved one can help you feel more comfortable leaving town. Make sure that neighbors have your contact information.
Professionals
Finding the right qualified individuals to help with caregiving can benefit the whole family. They provide professional, caring services with an unbiased opinion. Often, professionals provide, helping to improve the senior’s mood and mental health.
Homecare companies offer a wide range of services to help, including house cleaning, errand running, personal care, and meal preparation. Some companies also provide help with medical needs.
A home-delivered meal service can bring ready-to-eat meals to the door of your loved one. For example, Meals On Wheels recruits volunteers from your community to bring nutritious meals to seniors in their neighborhood.
Professional services can range in pricing, depending on your location and the services you need. Some offer financial assistance or are covered by insurance. Shop around and check in with your Area Agency on Aging to find the right fit for your situation.
Support groups and online forums
Being a family caregiver can sometimes be lonely and overwhelming. But the truth is, you are not in this alone. Connecting with other caregivers can give you the opportunity to talk to those who face the same challenges and exchange advice.
Check your area for family caregiver support groups. Though many groups may not meet in person right now due to the coronavirus, they may get together virtually and welcome new members.
There is also an array of online forums to join. A quick Google search will help you find groups and chat with other caregivers and professionals.
Tips for asking for help as a caregiver
You’re ready to ask for help, but you’re not quite sure how. Try these tips for enlisting help with caregiving duties.
Explain your situation
The people you care about may see that you are struggling, but might not know what exactly is going on. Be open about how you feel and the reasons behind it.
Open the conversation by explaining your predicament. For example, you could say, “I am feeling tired and stressed out from taking care of my mom”.
Make specific requests
Vaguely asking for help can leave a person feeling confused about what they can do. But, a specific call to action clearly lets them know what you need.
Instead of simply saying, “I need help with my mom”, try something like, “Can you pick up my mom’s prescriptions from the pharmacy after work tomorrow?”.
Get their opinions
Have a conversation about how they would like to contribute. They may have something in mind that you haven’t thought of. Be open to suggestions, and consider the things that they are good at or don’t mind doing.
Keep the conversation ongoing
Having the courage to ask someone for help is great. But once the task is completed, it’s important to keep the conversation going.
Continue to be open about how you feel and reach out when you need help. If the task completed was an ongoing need, see if you can set a schedule for the person to continue helping. For example, if you asked your child to mow the person’s lawn, establish a schedule for them to continue to do so every few weeks.
Remember that it’s not easy
You know that caretaking is hard. But your friends and family may not be around your loved one all of the time. It may be difficult to see the loved one if their health is declining. Have open conversations, allowing them to share their feelings and know that you understand.
Are you caring for a senior loved one? VANTAGE Aging provides small supports that can take some of the responsibilities off your shoulders. Contact us to learn more about our in-home caretaking services and home-delivered meals at referrals@vantageaging.org or 330-253-4597.
*The information in this article is intended solely to provide general information on matters of interest for the personal use of the reader, who accepts full responsibility for its use. This article should not be used as a substitute for consultation with professional legal, medical, or other competent advisors.